Admitting You’re Terrible

I’m currently working on Mark Park and the Flume of Destiny. It’s the third book in my series, The Future Next Door, and it is also, not coincidentally, the third book I have ever written.

Writing is a skill, of course, and like any skill, you get better at it the more you practice it. My first book, Alan Lennox and the Temp Job of Doom, took me just about a year to write, from first word to publication. I learned a lot as I was writing it – both from the act of writing itself, and from actually studying the craft of writing by reading what other, smarter writers than me had to say – and by the time I was finished with the first draft, I realized I needed to go back to the top and do some pretty serious revisions. It was a long process, but worth it in the end. It’s a good book.

The second book, Caitlin Ross and the Commute from Hell, came a lot easier. Not easy, just easier. It took about seven months in all. Less time because I had figured out that I’m a plotter – I need to break the story down before I start to write, not figure it out as I go along. This resulted in the first draft needing far fewer revisions. It was even more fun to write than the first book had been, and I think it shows in the end result. It’s a better book.

I say I started working on Mark Park a few weeks ago, but really, I started it at the same time I started Caitlin Ross. After I finished the first book, I plotted out all three of the remaining installments in the series – there’s an overall story building, and I had to know where I was going in order to know how to get there. So I had a blueprint in front of me when I actually sat down to write book three.

But…but but but. Something was off. Writing when I got home from work was becoming a chore to be dreaded instead of the best part of my day. I pushed through, telling myself I was just hitting a wall, I was tired, I was cranky, I needed to be changed, anything except admitting there was something wrong with what I was writing. I got through six chapters before I realized that the book just wasn’t going to work. The book I had plotted would not be a good book, let alone a better book. It would be a bad book.

So I threw it all away. All my meticulous plotting. All those weeks of work. Even the few little bits I liked. Once I beat my ego into submission and admitted that I was doing bad work, and gave myself permission to let it go, I was able to see more clearly what was wrong. And then I fixed it.

Tonight I finished my second take on the plot breakdown, and I’m bouncing up and down in my chair with excitement. I know it’s good. And I can’t wait to start writing again.

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