The Doctor Who Scavenger Hunt!

I’m a massive fan of the long-running British science fiction show Doctor Who, and if you are as well, then you might have caught some Whovian Easter eggs I’ve slipped into my stories. I did this for my own amusement, but I thought it might be fun to turn it into a contest. Who doesn’t love a contest?

Here’s how it works. In (almost) all of my books, there’s one character who shares a name with a character from Doctor Who. In Doctor Who, the character appears in one and only one story. (Story, not episode – they may appear throughout a multi-episode story.) In my books, the character is referred to by full name, first and last, but does not actually appear on-page.

To win, simply name the character, the book, and the Doctor Who story they appear in. If you’re the first to get it, I’ll immortalize you on the contest’s permanent page forever and send you a copy of any book you like, in any format you like (any type of e-book, or paperback). It doesn’t have to be one that’s out yet – if you’d like to wait for an upcoming release, I’ll send it to you as soon as it’s published.

The best part of this contest is, like Doctor Who, it’s never ending! Or at least, it won’t end until I stop writing. I’ll keep putting these names in my books, and you can keep looking for them!

As of now, the books you can search are Alan Lennox and the Temp Job of Doom and Caitlin Ross and the Commute from HellDakota Bell and the Wastes of Time will also be eligible, once it’s released.

There are two books of mine that don’t have a Who character – This Is What He Should Have Said, and Mark Park and the Flume of Destiny. This Is What is a bit too short to get one in there smoothly, and Mark Park had a character who wound up getting cut from the book before release. So to make up for this glaring omission, I’ll add in a BONUS question! In Caitlin Ross, there’s a character who doesn’t quite fit the rules of this contest. He or she is mentioned without ever being seen, but we don’t get his or her first name, and the matching Doctor Who character appeared in more than one story. This character does appear in Mark Park and the Flume of Destiny, where we learn his or her first name – which does not match the Who character’s. Name this character, the not-quite-matching Who character, and any of the Who stories that character appeared in to win!

You can email me your answers at brianolsenbooks@gmail.com, or send them to me through my Contact page. Happy hunting!

Posted by Brian in Doctor Who, Website, 0 comments

My Ding-A-Lings

I’m a comic book fan. A big comic book fan. A life-long comic book fan. Richie Rich, Archie and the Justice League taught me to read. I think it’s safe to say that my writing – no, scratch that. I think it’s safe to say that my world view has been significantly shaped by comics.

Don’t worry, I’m not about to get all serious. I just want to establish my deep love of the medium before I start making fun of it.

If you read comics in the seventies or eighties, you may remember that the most powerful weapon heroes had at their disposal was not their great strength, their nifty gadgets, or even their pure hearts. It was their supply of Hostess snack products. A series of advertisements running in just about every title featured DC and Marvel superheroes using Twinkies, Cupcakes and Fruit Pies to defeat their nemeses. These one-page comics were written and drawn by the regular artists of the main series, so to a kid like me, there wasn’t much difference between Superman beating Lex Luthor with a punch or with a processed chemical snack. It was all canon. Batman has Twinkies in his utility belt? Sure! Why wouldn’t he? I sure would, if I had one.

Some of the bad guys in these strips were the normal arch-villains the heroes would face in their own comics every month, but some were original to the advertisements. Let’s take a look at one such match and relive the glory days of comic/snack synergy with this gem, which probably ran in a bunch of comics but which I found in The Invaders #25, cover dated February, 1978. (These Hostess ads were uncredited – some sources I’ve found give the writer as Marv Wolfman and the penciller as either John Buscema, Sal Buscema, or Bob Brown.)

Thor in “The Ding-A-Ling Family”

I thought Ding-A-Lings were a Drake’s product…

Don’t hurt your eyes by trying to read that – an excruciatingly detailed panel-by-panel analysis follows…

Continue reading →

Posted by Brian in Comics, 0 comments

Blasts from the past

I’ve been reading through my old Livejournal and Blogger blogs, archiving them to my desktop in case they someday go away forever (beware the perils of not owning the site that hosts your content!). A lot of my posts are just me making fun of various old comics, but some of them I think are worthy of keeping alive. So, I’ll probably be re-posting some old stuff. They’ll all be new to this blog, but if you’ve been following me for a while some of my upcoming posts may look kind of familiar. I’ll put a nice new spit ‘n’ polish on them, though, just for you! Stay tuned…

Posted by Brian in Pointless Babblings, Website, 0 comments

Web site redesign

I’ve spruced up the joint! I’ve completely redone the website for 2015, ditching that old, generic WordPress theme that made it look identical to a million other websites. In addition to the cosmetic changes (pretty!), I’ve completely revamped the Books pages, with much more information, downloadable sample chapters and easier purchase links, I’ve cleaned up the Newsletter, About the Author, and Contact pages, made the Sidebar and Menu easier to navigate, and even added a Works in Progress page, where you can keep tabs on what’s coming your way in the months to come.

I think it looks pretty great – what do you think? There’s always room for improvement, and I’d love any feedback you might have to offer.

Happy New Year!

Posted by Brian in Website, 0 comments

Ten Thoughts on So Dear to My Heart

So Dear to My Heart (1949) is the fourteenth feature film from the Disney studios, and, like Song of the South, it’s a mixture of live-action and animation. The animation only makes up a small portion of the film, though – early drafts had no animation at all, and the cartoon segments were added mainly due to a requirement in Disney’s distribution deal with RKO. But enough background – what did I think?

  1. Hey, Burl Ives is in this, yay! Oh, goddamn it, so are those irritating kids from Song of the South. Jeez Louise, Walt, weren’t there any other child actors you could get on the cheap? I appreciate loyalty, but come on. This is the third picture for Bobby Driscoll and the fourth in a row for Luana Patten. She’s not that cute.
  2. Welcome to Fulton Corners, Indiana, in the year 1903. Well, that may be the precise setting of the film, but really we’re in Disney-fied Americana. Main Street, USA, at the turn of the century. A general store, horse-drawn wagons, lots of open space for kids to play in, and the train’s arrival at the tiny depot the biggest source of excitement for miles. This is the first real appearance of Walt Disney’s idealized old-time America in a feature, but get used to it – you’ll be seeing it again and again.
  3. Dan Patch, the famous racehorse (or a reasonable facsimile) stops briefly in our little town, led off the train to stretch his legs. This inspires our hero, Jeremiah Kinkaid, known as Jerry and played by that awful Song of the South boy I wished so much ill upon, to one day own a champion racehorse of his own. Good luck, kid! We also meet Tildy, played by the so-adorable-you-want-to-punch-her Luana Patten. Tildy is Jerry’s friend – or maybe his cousin? I’m never clear on this. Our other two main characters are Jerry’s Uncle Hiram, played by Burl Ives (in his first major film role), and Jerry’s Granny, played by Beulah Bondi (who I am unfamiliar with, but who is amazing). Tildy hangs out with this crew all day and night, but she doesn’t seem to be related to them.  Unless she is? She mentions parents, but we never see them. She refers to Hiram as “Uncle” but Granny is explicitly not her grandmother. But Hiram also calls Granny “Granny” so maybe “Uncle” and “Granny” are nicknames as well as relationship indicators? It’s all very confusing. Disney movies always seem to have some little inconsequential plot point like this that I spend way too much time thinking about. Details matter, people!
  4. Finally we get to the meat of the movie (so to speak). Granny’s sheep give birth, and one of them, a black lamb, is rejected by its mother. Jerry takes the lamb as a pet, despite Granny’s objections, and his dreams of owning a champion racehorse are replaced with dreams of his little lamb, whom he names Danny, becoming a champion instead. I know there’s no racial message intended here, but there’s something about the black lamb, particularly Granny’s warnings – “I know the nature of them black sheep, especially a ram. He’ll be into everything.” – that makes me uncomfortable. Casting Song of the South boy doesn’t help.
  5. The incidental music in this film is a little heavy-handed. Every single line is underscored, the slightest motion is accompanied by a dramatic chord. “Jeremiah!” (Duh-duh-duh!) His head whips around! (Dum-dummmmm!) Granny scowls! (Bum-bum-ba-bum!) Close-up on the lamb! (Tweetle-dee-dee!) Jimmy smiles! (Doot-doo-do-doo!) Granny softens! (La-la-la-laaaaa!) STOP TELLING ME HOW TO FEEL!
  6. The animation sequences are gorgeous, but they’re sort of shoved into this movie – they’re meant to be springing from Jerry’s imagination, and they mostly consist of advice for animated Danny the Lamb from a Wise Old Owl, who comes from a series of postcards Jerry has in his scrapbook. (Oh, let me interject to say that Jerry is really, really good at scrapbooking. His scrapbook is to die for, even before it comes to life as a cartoon. If this were set in the present he would be majorly internet-famous on Pinterest.) The songs are a lot of fun, particularly “Stick-To-It-Ivity,” which features an animated Robert the Bruce getting advice from an animated spider which inspires Robert to get off his lazy ass and go and slaughter some more Brits. My pride in my heritage might have caused me to find the spider’s cliched Scottish appearance and dialect offensive if it hadn’t looked so cute when it did the Highland Fling.
  7. Most of the movie consists of Danny the Black Sheep getting into exactly the kind of trouble Granny predicted, and Jeremiah apologizing for it. Danny destroys Granny’s living room, Granny’s yard, Granny’s screen  door, Granny’s rocking chair, plus the town general store for good measure. Granny shows remarkable restraint in not serving up a plate of her famous Black Lamp Chops. I keep going back and forth as to whose side I’m on, but ultimately I decide that the lamb is pure evil and his destruction is completely on purpose, so I’m on his side.
  8. Jerry and Tildy go to the swamp to look for bees – long story – and they find a complete cow skeleton, stripped to the bone. An entire cow skeleton, just lying there on the ground. Tildy is freaked out, since she’s been warned again and again about how dangerous the swamp is and also WHAT THE HELL LIVES IN AN INDIANA SWAMP THAT CAN SKELETONIZE A COW but Jerry is all, “Whatever. I’m following a bee. You can come or not.” I wish I could say it’s bad-ass, but coming from Jerry it just reads as slack-jawed vapidity. “Huh, yeah, a cow skeleton, that’s OH LOOK ANOTHER BEE!”
  9. Little Jerry’s an asshole, by the way. He’ll be all doe-eyed one minute to get his way, but he’ll tear your fucking head off if you come between him and his lamb. Tildy goes to feed Danny, who escapes and disappears into the swamp. Jerry rips Tildy apart for feeding him, chews Granny a new one for not keeping better watch, and then denounces God for taking his lamb away. It’s…kind of awesome. My liking of this kid is growing faster than Annette Funicello’s sweater size. (That’s a Mickey Mouse Club joke. Look it up, kids.) Granny – and the narrative of the film – aren’t down with the blasphemy, and she gives him a severe spiritual smack-down. Jerry relents, promising God that if He returns Danny, Jerry will abandon his dreams of winning a blue ribbon at the County Fair. (That’s been the main plot of the movie this whole time. Sorry I haven’t mentioned it before.) Granny is touched by this, and when Danny is found, she tells Jerry that she promised God that if Danny was found, they would go to the Fair, and since she’s older she’s the one who has to keep her promise. As an atheist, I don’t really get the whole religion thing, but that seems like a dubious doctrinal lesson for a parental guardian to impart. It’s okay to break your promise to God, as long as it was a really, really cute promise.
  10. They go to the fair, and Danny doesn’t win the blue ribbon. I’m really hoping he’ll go on a rampage and raze the whole ring to the ground while Jerry screams and cries and blames everyone else for his problems (and really, their behavior throughout the entire movie thus far suggest that’s exactly what should happen), but alas. They take their loss with dignity, and the judges give him a special award, a big pink ribbon. It feels a little “Everybody Gets a Medal Day” to me, but the movie seems to think it’s a happy ending, so who am I to argue? All in all, So Dear to My Heart is basically a harmless bit of fluff. It’s a shame the animated sequences haven’t been lifted out and shown separately, as they’re the best bits of the movie, but there are worse ways to pass an hour and fifteen minutes. If you’re curious about the genesis of whitewashed Disney America, this is a reasonably inoffensive place to start.

sodeartomyheart

Posted by Brian in Pointless Babblings, Ten Thoughts, 3 comments