Nothing But Star Wars: The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)


I am a firm believer in redemptive readings of texts that are commonly considered bad, but belong to a greater body of work that one is a fan of. If I love something, why focus on the negative? I do that for Doctor Who – I can find something to love about the worst of stories. And I love Star Wars, so that’s how I’m approaching this watch-through.

But holy midi-chlorians, The Star Wars Holiday Special is bad. So bad. So unredemptively bad.

Why does the Empire make watching Bea Arthur tend bar required viewing for all citizens? Why are the members of Jefferson Starship apparently playing themselves? Why would you give Harvey Korman three scenes and not write him a single joke? Why, why, so many whys?

If all you’ve seen of The Star Wars Holiday Special is the odd campy clip from it on YouTube, that’s FINE. Do not feel like you need to sit through the entire two hours, as I just did. It is exactly as bad as everyone says. Fan consensus, in this case, is absolutely correct.

That said.

There are moments.

So I will try.

I genuinely like Bea Arthur’s song. (Only the song, not the sketch before.)

The Wookie costumes are very good. Very expressive. (This is not always a good thing, as whenever Chewie’s son Lumpy is threatened by the Imperials, which happens about fifty times, the camera lingers on the absolute terror in his eyes for an uncomfortable amount of time.) (Also, Chewie’s dad Itchy’s mask is kind of grotesque, so when he gets all horned up for Diahann Carroll’s Logan’s Run porno number it’s also pretty disturbing.) (Sorry, I’ll get back to the good things.)

It’s nice to see the main cast, even briefly. The cold open has Han and Chewie in the Millennium Falcon on the run from Imperials, so you think this is going to have a lot of action, but ha ha no. The lead actors are barely in it, it’s just two hours of boring songs, comedy sketches with no jokes, and Wookies growling incomprehensively at each other. (Sorry, sorry, good things.)

The cartoon is great. I do love that weird Nelvana animation style. The cartoon is the only thing I remember from watching this when it first aired, a couple days before my sixth birthday. I guess I blocked the rest out, or possibly fell asleep before it was over.

I thought for a second at the end that Chewie and his wife were going to kiss, and I was looking forward to seeing how that would work. But then it didn’t happen.

As for queerness… hmm. You could call it campy, but I don’t know. I think campy media that’s also bad needs to be “so bad it’s good,” and this is “so bad it’s unwatchable”. Also, I think creators of camp need to believe they’re making something good, and I can’t believe anyone involved in this thought it would come out well. Bob Mackie did the costumes, so that’s kind of gay, although the only real sense of Mackie’s style you might find is in the little holographic circus performers. Bea Arthur’s in it, that’s certainly queer-adjacent.

There must be something else I liked…

The version I watched had the original 1978 commercials in it. Those made for a nice break.

Yeah. That’s it. That’s all I got. Sorry. The Star Wars Holiday Special broke me. At least I get to watch Empire next.

Happy Life Day!


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Next: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Posted by Brian in Star Wars, 0 comments

Nothing But Star Wars: Star Wars (1977)


I was four years old when Star Wars came out, in May of 1977. I saw it in the theater, I think more than once, although I only remember a few things from that first run. The droids stuck with me – I used to imitate C-3P0 yelling at R2 in the desert. “Well, I’m not going that way.” I had a nightmare about Darth Vader coming down the hallway to get me, his signature breathing getting louder as he got closer. And I knew Luke was the hero and Leia was the heroine, so obviously they would end up together (the sexual tension between Han and Leia flew right over my head).

Like every other kid around my age, I fell instantly in love with the film. That Christmas was all Star Wars – I still have a bunch of that first wave of action figures in my closet. Doctor Who and Star Trek would eventually crowd it out of the top spot of my geek affections, but Star Wars will always be my first love.

Except, I haven’t been quite as devoted a lover as I could be. I’ve seen the original trilogy more times than I can count, and all the other major films, and most of the new live-action series. But I never got into any of the cartoons, and I’ve only seen the prequel series once, on first release. So I’m going back to the beginning and watching all of Star Wars, in release order, partly to rekindle my childhood flame, partly so I know what the hell is going on in Ahsoka.

So I just finished watching Star Wars, again. Despite having seen it a number of times, I tried to come at it fresh, as if it were 1977. Except, of course, that’s not possible. For one thing, the original theatrical release is no longer available anywhere. I tried to find it though some unsavory means, but struck out and settled on the Disney+ version. Which is fine. I miss the little gray rectangles around the ships, and some of the CGI looks faker than the models, but ultimately the story is the same, and that’s what matters.

Mostly the same. The focus on Boba Fett in that restored Jabba scene bothers me, I think because it feels like the camera is saying, “Hey, recognize this guy? You love this guy!”, which means it’s in there for people who have already seen the sequels. If you’re re-editing the first movie in a series, you should come at it with the assumption that it’s the first time people are seeing it. I know, I’m naïve. This is one of the most popular movies of all time and it’s been out for decades. I don’t care. There will always be people seeing it for the first time.

The cast is just perfect. I’m not sure if Carrie Fisher was rewriting her own dialogue yet, or if that didn’t start until the next film, but Leia feels ahead of her time, absolutely the equal of the two boys. And the romantic pairing here is obviously her and Han, no matter how much four-year-old me disapproves. (I didn’t appreciate the bad boys until much later.) Luke sometimes gets accused of whininess, but apart from that infamous power converters line, I don’t find him so. He’s chafing at his uncle’s restrictions, and understandably so. There’s a rebellion on, who wants to hang around a desert farming moisture?

I’d keep things on brand by analyzing the queer subtext, but there isn’t much there, beyond homophobic jokes about C-3P0. (And oh boy, did I force a laugh at a lot of those growing up.) You’d have to squint pretty hard to read anything into Han and Luke’s friendship, as much as I’d love to read that particular story. Considering there are only two women in the whole film, one of whom is charcoal by the end of the first act, it’s pretty straight. Ah, well. Nothing’s perfect.

I’m going to try to keep on posting my thoughts on every installment of the Star Wars franchise as I watch. Once in a while I might have a deep thought or two, but I imagine mostly it’ll be pretty light. (I doubt I’ll find much profound to say about any particular episode of the Ewoks cartoon, for example.) I don’t get a lot of readers out this way (does anybody read blogs anymore?), but I’m happy to shout into the void for a while. (Maybe shout back in the comments, just so I know I’m not alone?)

Last thought on the original Star Wars – fifty-year-old me enjoyed it just as much as four-year-old me, maybe even a little bit more. And not just because of Harrison Ford’s chest hair.


Next: The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

Posted by Brian in Star Wars, 2 comments

Ranking Doctor Who – Season 1

I gave up on my live-tweeting all of Doctor Who from the beginning – pausing every few seconds to tweet something was kind of a drag. So instead I’m making quick ranked lists as I finish each season. Who doesn’t love ranked lists? So here’s season 1, ranked from least-best to best. (I have a hard time thinking of any Doctor Who as “worst”.) Feel free to comment with your own opinion, but I assure you my Doctor Who opinions are always 100% correct.

  1. The Daleks – There’s a reason these things caught on! Plus Barbara gets it on with a hot blond.
  2. An Unearthly Child – And I didn’t rank it so high just for the incredible first episode! I will die on the hill that the cave people story in episodes 2-4 is a lot better than people think.
  3. Marco Polo – The missing episodes bum me out, and I hate watching reconstructions, BUT I’ve been watching the Loose Cannon recons while listening to the BBC Audio narrated soundtracks, and the extra narration has me appreciating Marco Polo more than I did on my last rewatch. It’s really a gripping story, if a little drawn out.
  4. The Keys of Marinus – Everybody hates this except me. Everybody except me is wrong. The end drags but the McGuffin-chasing through the first few parts is great!
  5. The Edge of Destruction – Part 2 loses its way a bit, but Part 1 is unsettlingly weird and intriguing. Carole Ann Ford is great.
  6. The Aztecs – A Barbara showcase story! I love Barbara even more than I dislike the strict historicals!
  7. The Reign of Terror – Suffers from the capture-escape-repeat padding, and Susan is done dirty by the writing, but all the Doctor’s bits are terrific.
  8. The Sensorites – The first two episodes are marvelously spooky but the Sensorite threat is deflated once they start talking.
Posted by Brian in Doctor Who, 0 comments

Stocking Stuffer

New sketch! It’s from 15 Minutes Away’s Christmas show so it’s super timely here in late January. I wrote it and I play a male escort (typecasting myself again). It features me, Kevin Delano, and Andrew Warner. It’s pretty dirty and a little gross. Enjoy!

Posted by Brian in Comedy, For the Stage, Performing, 0 comments

My Dad, the Doctor, and Me

“I’ve been watching since I was seven,” is what I always say when my love for Doctor Who comes up in conversation. “My dad got me into it.”

It’s possible I wasn’t seven. I didn’t make a note of it or anything. But that’s the age that’s stuck in my memory, and I’ve said it aloud enough times that it may as well be true. Seven years old, so it could have been late 1979, but I’m pretty sure it was 1980.

My father had been trying to get me to watch for ages, insisting I’d love it, but on WGBH, Boston’s public television station, Doctor Who aired weekdays at 7pm, and that was prime playing-outside time.

But one night, for whatever reason – maybe it was raining, maybe none of the other kids on the street were around, or maybe my dad was just particularly insistent – I sat down in the back room of our house, a small room at the end of the hall that served as my dad’s TV room (mom’s was the living room). The back room had a couch and a chair, both of which he ignored, preferring to sit on the floor, eye level with the television, which was housed in a low cabinet. And sitting on the floor together, my father and I watched the third episode of “The Hand of Fear,” a Tom Baker story, the last to feature Elisabeth Sladen as Sarah Jane Smith.

I thought it was fine, I guess?

It probably didn’t help that I had no idea what was going on. I’m not sure I came back for the fourth and final episode.

A little detective work now. The website broadwcast.org features an encyclopedic listing of international air dates for Doctor Who. A quick perusing of the page for WGBH gives a couple of possible days on which this underwhelming start to my journeys with the Doctor might have begun.

The only possible air date where I’m 7 is Tuesday, September 16, 1980, but that doesn’t seem quite right to me. The next story they showed was an out-of-sequence “The Robots of Death,” and I’m sure that “The Deadly Assassin” was shown in its rightful place after “The Hand of Fear” when I watched. I know because I remember thinking I was just intrigued enough by what I had seen, and, probably subconsciously, enjoying the idea of a show my father and I could watch together, that I gave it another try, and was even more baffled by the cryptic political nightmarescapes of “Assassin.” It’s a great story, but perhaps not the best introduction to the show for a 7-year-old.

December 19 is the next possible date. But that doesn’t sound right, either, and not just because I’d have turned 8 by then. I remember being torn between watching and playing because it was nice outside. Not that I didn’t play outside in winter, but my memory tells me it was sunny when the show aired. My memory lies to me constantly, but it’s all I have to go on.

That brings me to the following spring – Monday, May 11. So it was 1981, not 1980, and I was 8, not 7.

I don’t know why that makes me a little sad. It doesn’t change anything, except one small detail about the story I tell whenever I have reason to talk about how long I’ve been a fan.

Anyway, this date feels right because “The Deadly Assassin” aired next, followed by “The Face of Evil.” Despite “Assassin” failing to catch my interest, I gave the show a third and final chance by watching the first episode of “Face,” and that’s where it got me. I came in at the start of a new story, a story introducing a new character who had as much to learn about the Doctor as I did, and the show no longer felt confusing or unwelcoming.

If Tom Baker was my Doctor, Louise Jameson as Leela was my companion. My father was a Leela fan too, and watching her run of stories with him fixed my attachment to the show. He had seen them all before and was eager for me to appreciate them, and happy that his certainty that I’d love them was proving correct. We watched “The Talons of Weng-Chiang,” a favorite of my father’s due to the similarities to his greater love, Sherlock Holmes. I remember sitting at his side transfixed by the creepiness of “Horror of Fang Rock.” He knew I’d love K-9, the robot dog introduced in “The Invisible Enemy” (and what 8-year-old wouldn’t?). Dad explained Gallifrey, the Doctor’s home planet, to me when we got there in “The Invasion of Time,” Leela’s final story.

The next episode to air was the first part of “Robot,” Tom Baker’s debut story, as WGBH had run out of new episodes. I got to meet Sarah Jane properly this time. Watching “The Hand of Fear” from the beginning, with the approaching-encyclopedic knowledge of any child with a new obsession, I couldn’t believe I’d been so dismissive of it the first time around. As for “The Deadly Assassin” – well, it would take a couple more years to really get that one. (Honestly, I’m still not sure I do.) And then Leela was back, and I watched her stories the second time as eagerly as I’d watched them the first.

My father, however, slowly lost interest as the limited episodes available for the US to license got repeated, and repeated, and repeated again. Whenever the opening titles revealed that we had once again looped back to the first episode of “Robot” he would express his disappointment, and before long I was watching without him, on one of the other TVs in the house. I’m not sure exactly when that happened. I know we were still watching together when WGBH finally moved past Leela in October of 1982. I think we finished out that first airing of Tom Baker’s final seasons, his departure happening in January of 1983. But after the last episode of “Logopolis” it was back to the first episode of “Robot,” and I can almost hear my father crying out in annoyance at yet another rerun. So that was probably it. Maybe we watched another story or two here or there after that but certainly by July of 1984, when the popularity of the show in the US had grown enough that PBS began showing the newest episodes, starring Peter Davison, Dad was done.

Which was fine, really. My brother and my cousin had long since joined me in my fandom, so I still had someone to talk to about it, to pick up issues of Doctor Who Magazine for me, to introduce me to the burgeoning Doctor Who convention scene. (I met Tom Baker in person! I was too stunned to speak but he grinned at me and said something nice I can no longer remember.)

My love for the Doctor has only deepened over the years since my dad introduced us. I stayed with it through the final years of its original run, through the end of the 80s, when I had to watch on my sisters’ TV, for some reason the only set in the house that could pick up the New Hampshire PBS station showing Sylvester McCoy’s episodes. I stayed faithful through the wilderness years of the 90s, through the disappointment of the Fox TV-movie, through the show’s renewal and reemergence into the popular consciousness in 2005. And I’m still very much faithful to it today.

I’ve tried to get my father back into it, here and there. I gave him a bootleg VHS copy of “The Curse of Fatal Death,” a 1999 parody starring Rowan Atkinson, whom I knew he liked. He watched it once, politely, but the tape eventually made its way in with my own, and now sits in my closet. I thought the new show would interest him, but it wasn’t much to his taste. He watched an episode or two, but he doesn’t care for the ongoing arcs and deeper characterization of modern science fiction. Most recently, I tried to get him to watch “Legend of the Sea Devils” with me. It was the Easter 2022 special, and it sounded like it would be a fun one-off action piece. (And it was!) I was staying with him and my mom for a few weeks at the time. When I brought it up that morning he was interested, but by the time it aired that night, bed held more appeal. He’s over 90 now, I can hardly blame him.

So my dad’s relationship with the Doctor ended a long time ago, and that’s okay. Dad’s done a lot for me over the years, but making me sit down and watch Doctor Who with him all those decades ago is still the best gift he ever gave me. And even though we’ll probably never watch another episode together, it’ll always be something we share.

I’ve been watching Doctor Who since I was eight years old. My dad got me into it.

Posted by Brian in Doctor Who, Pointless Babblings, 2 comments