I am a firm believer in redemptive readings of texts that are commonly considered bad, but belong to a greater body of work that one is a fan of. If I love something, why focus on the negative? I do that for Doctor Who – I can find something to love about the worst of stories. And I love Star Wars, so that’s how I’m approaching this watch-through.
But holy midi-chlorians, The Star Wars Holiday Special is bad. So bad. So unredemptively bad.
Why does the Empire make watching Bea Arthur tend bar required viewing for all citizens? Why are the members of Jefferson Starship apparently playing themselves? Why would you give Harvey Korman three scenes and not write him a single joke? Why, why, so many whys?
If all you’ve seen of The Star Wars Holiday Special is the odd campy clip from it on YouTube, that’s FINE. Do not feel like you need to sit through the entire two hours, as I just did. It is exactly as bad as everyone says. Fan consensus, in this case, is absolutely correct.
That said.
There are moments.
So I will try.
I genuinely like Bea Arthur’s song. (Only the song, not the sketch before.)
The Wookie costumes are very good. Very expressive. (This is not always a good thing, as whenever Chewie’s son Lumpy is threatened by the Imperials, which happens about fifty times, the camera lingers on the absolute terror in his eyes for an uncomfortable amount of time.) (Also, Chewie’s dad Itchy’s mask is kind of grotesque, so when he gets all horned up for Diahann Carroll’s Logan’s Run porno number it’s also pretty disturbing.) (Sorry, I’ll get back to the good things.)
It’s nice to see the main cast, even briefly. The cold open has Han and Chewie in the Millennium Falcon on the run from Imperials, so you think this is going to have a lot of action, but ha ha no. The lead actors are barely in it, it’s just two hours of boring songs, comedy sketches with no jokes, and Wookies growling incomprehensively at each other. (Sorry, sorry, good things.)
The cartoon is great. I do love that weird Nelvana animation style. The cartoon is the only thing I remember from watching this when it first aired, a couple days before my sixth birthday. I guess I blocked the rest out, or possibly fell asleep before it was over.
I thought for a second at the end that Chewie and his wife were going to kiss, and I was looking forward to seeing how that would work. But then it didn’t happen.
As for queerness… hmm. You could call it campy, but I don’t know. I think campy media that’s also bad needs to be “so bad it’s good,” and this is “so bad it’s unwatchable”. Also, I think creators of camp need to believe they’re making something good, and I can’t believe anyone involved in this thought it would come out well. Bob Mackie did the costumes, so that’s kind of gay, although the only real sense of Mackie’s style you might find is in the little holographic circus performers. Bea Arthur’s in it, that’s certainly queer-adjacent.
There must be something else I liked…
The version I watched had the original 1978 commercials in it. Those made for a nice break.
Yeah. That’s it. That’s all I got. Sorry. The Star Wars Holiday Special broke me. At least I get to watch Empire next.
Happy Life Day!
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